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In match.com’s annual Love Geist survey into attitudes towards love and dating we found that the main reason people in their 40s are single is “emotional baggage”.They feel they have too much, or they don’t want to deal with a partner’s. Baggage makes anyone a deeper, more interesting and ultimately more lovable person. If you swing it jauntily – embracing life as a single-parent, or working a plan to get back on your feet financially – you’re attractive.“But quite often people feel worse because if you haven’t dealt with the rejection of the divorce, and you jump into bed and it doesn’t work out, the second lot of rejection can be worse than the divorce itself.You have to take care of yourself.” A sign you are emotionally ready to start dating again is if you are able to take responsibility for your actions in the past. If you can’t answer that, you’re not ready.” And the good news is that when you take the time to work out what happened and build up your resilience, “that’s what will make your next relationship work,” Marion says.While you are rebuilding your self-image, consciously think about your marriage and what went wrong. The ideal is to reach a place of acceptance with your divorce, and your ex, and your new life.Realise that you have things to offer a new relationship.If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve gone through a divorce, come out the other side and are contemplating dipping a toe in the dating waters again.This can be daunting – especially if you’ve been hurt in the past or if the last time you went on a date was so long ago, Instagram wasn’t even a thing.
Your marriage failed, but that’s not a reason to swear off love completely.Getting a divorce is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through.But one day, when you look back on it all, you may well find that it was a positive turning point in your life: with patience, optimism, and the passing of time, life after divorce can prove to be incredibly empowering and satisfying.“At the beginning of the divorce process, it’s normal to think it’s all the other person’s fault,” explains Marion. When you are ready to date, there are some things to keep in mind. “If you bring it with you, you’re probably going to repeat the same old patterns and the relationship is likely to end in difficulties again,” warns Marion.“You’re more likely going to get what you need from another relationship if you’ve learned the lessons from the previous.” Secondly, some people fall into the trap of being too fearful and aren’t able to trust someone.
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According to a recent article on Match.com, single boomers over fifty years old are enjoying the benefits of their new status.